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Achieving success in anything is rarely a must for most people. They would like to lose weight, but it is not a must. They would love to make more money, but they won’t die without it. And they wish they could take charge of their lives, but they could live without it. The moment something becomes a ‘should’ instead of a ‘must’, you will rarely achieve it. You will always find a way to put it off or to quit the moment you meet resistance.
People like Sylvester Stallone, Jack Welch, or Donald Trump who achieve success are not born more focused, more disciplined, or luckier than the average person. What makes them different is that they make their goals a must for themselves. They are not willing to accept anything less than the best.
So here is the question for you. Are your dreams and goals an absolute must or are they just weak desires that you can live without? Have you been truly committed to doing whatever it takes in the past or have you quit and given yourself excuses along the way?
Past Achievement a Must!
If you have achieved nothing of ‘worth’ up till now, then nothing has ever been a ‘must’ in your life. Have you ever put off doing certain important things in your life? I’m sure you have. Like writing a report, filing your tax returns, or signing up for an exercise program. But one day, you finally finished that report, filed your tax returns and began that exercise program.
Well, what made you get them done eventually? Was it because things got to the stage where it became a ‘must’ for you? You had to get that report done or risk losing a contract and being fired, you had to file your tax returns or risk being fined. You had to lose weight or risk a heart attack.
Think about it, all the times in your past when you finally managed to do something really tough that you were proud of, was it a must for you at the time? I’m sure it was. Unfortunately, we end up doing only what is necessary to survive and live a mundane life. Since living an exceptional life is not a must, we never take enough action to do it.
Now, think of all the things you always wanted to do and achieve but never managed to. Think of all the desires and dreams that you’ve put off to a point that you have given up on them.
Level of Acceptance
Be honest with yourself. Was it a must for you to have achieved, or something that would have been ‘nice’ to have? Was it achieving an ideal weight? Starting your own business? Achieving a career performance target? Learning a foreign language? Working in a foreign country? Aiming for an MBA?
It should be very obvious that the reason you have not taken action and done whatever it took was because these goals never became a must for you. They were never a necessity that moved all the way up your list of priorities to kick you into action. The only way we will ever achieve our dreams and live an exceptional quality of life is when we raise our ‘level of acceptance’.
“It is Not What We Expect, But What We are Willing to Accept in Life That Matters.”
All of us have got dreams we aspire to attain in our lives. These dreams come from people who inspire us. We may dream of making $20,000 a month, owning a luxury car, and living in a million-dollar mansion. At the same time, based on our beliefs, we also have what I call a ‘Level of Acceptance’.
This ‘Level of Acceptance’ means that though you may aspire to earn $20,000 a month, you are willing to accept earning $3000 a month. Although you would love to live in a million-dollar house, you are quite willing to settle for a small apartment. Although you would love to be at an ideal weight of 65kg, you are willing to live life at 75kg.
Our self-image is what determines our level of expectation and level of acceptance in life.
Panic Mode of Mind
You may set a goal to earn $20,000 but if you are willing to accept earning $3000, then $3000 is what you are going to end up getting. Why? Because the $3000 level of acceptance is what we make a ‘must’ for ourselves.
We will not allow ourselves to earn below that level of what we believe is our minimum. This is our tolerance level. The moment we think we are going to go below our acceptance level, our mind hits panic mode and we will do whatever it takes to get above that. Again, when we are committed to do whatever it takes, we will get it.
People who make $20,000 a month do so because to them, that is their level of acceptance. That is what they believe they are worth. They will not accept anything less. They will never accept $5000 or even $10,000 a month. And they will do whatever it takes to get the level they believe they deserve.
Donald Trump, the billionaire real estate mogul, cannot accept being second to anyone. It is this ‘I must be number one’ that drives him to be the best, or at least the flashiest, the best-known in his field.
Jack Welch, the legendary CEO of General Electric (GE) would not accept any of the companies under his charge to be less than number one in their markets. This is why all three hundred companies under GE have been market leaders for years.
Raise the Acceptance Levels
Unless we raise our acceptance levels, we will never do what is necessary to achieve our goals. So, for example, if you want to make more money, you have to raise your standards of what you are willing to accept.
Now, consider what influences our level of acceptance? Why is one person willing to accept a lifestyle based on $3000 a month while another has set an acceptance level triple that amount?
Well, the standards we have generally come from our family, friends, and our environment. The people whom we spend most of our time with defining the standards we measure ourselves against. In fact, research has shown that people normally earn 10% more or less of the 10 people they mix around most with.
So, it’s the time to look into your environment and take necessary actions to change it for achieving your goals. If you are not willing to change it (from should to must), then you may find yourself in the same spot years later.
(Excerpt is from “Master Your Mind, Design Your Destiny: Proven Strategies That Empower You to Achieve Anything You Want in Life” by Adam Khoo).
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