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The impact of words in our life is phenomenal. Positive words make a long-lasting relationship and provide joy & energy and on the other side, negative words bring bitterness to the relationship, make us sad & drain energy.
Negative words act as a double-edged sword, these words not only harm the listener but the speaker as well.
Each word is associated with some feeling or emotion. If somebody appreciates you by simply saying ‘well done’, you feel highly charged and filled with positive energy at that moment in time. Later on, you remember that person in every such situation. With this, bonding strengthens and the relationship improves.
What if somebody criticizes you by saying ‘idiot’, you feel bad about this. Many a time each person has a different feeling associated with each word. ‘Idiot’ for some people is a routine, day-to-day word in their conversation. They are habitual to use this word casually every now and then.
But if you are saying that to the child, and at the same time, that child listens to a similar word in school from a teacher, which generally followed laughter from a friend. Now you can understand the impact of this simple word on that child. Children criticism in any form either at home or in school have a deep impact.
These children lifelong feel that negative emotion whenever they listen to the word ‘idiot’ unless they change the meaning associated with this word. Which is very well possible.
Words can make us laugh and cry. They can wound or heal. They offer us hope or devastation.
Vocabulary Statistics
Good insights on vocabulary statistics (positive & negative words) & how to lower the intensity of negative words are described in the book ‘Awaken the Giant Within’ by Anthony Robbins.
Most people are not challenged, by the size of the vocabulary they consciously understand, but rather by the words they choose to use. To consciously control our lives, we need to consciously evaluate and improve our consistent vocabulary to make sure that it is pulling us in the direction we desire instead of that which we wish to avoid. You and I must realize that the English language is filled with words that, in addition to their literal meanings, convey distinct emotional intensity. For example, if you develop a habit of saying you “hate” things—you “hate” your hair; you “hate” your job; you “hate” having to do something—do you think this raises the intensity of your negative emotional states more than if you were to use a phrase like “I prefer something else”?
How do the words “impeccable” or “integrity” compare to “well done” and “honesty”? The words “pursuit of excellence” certainly create more intensity than “trying to make things better.
The writer found that, according to Compton’s Encyclopaedia, English contains at least 500,000 words, and input from sources found that the total may be closer to 750,000 words! English definitely has the largest number of words of any language on earth today, with German running a distant second, tallying roughly half the number.
What he found so fascinating was that with the immense number of words we could possibly use, our habitual vocabulary is extremely limited. Various linguists have shared with me that the average person’s working vocabulary consists of only between 2,000 and 10,000 words. Conservatively estimating English to contain half a million words, means we regularly use only ½ of 1 percent to 2 percent of the language! What’s an even greater tragedy? Of these words, how many do you think to describe emotions? He was able to find over 3,000 words related to human emotion by going through a group of thesauruses.
What struck him was the proportion of words that describe negative versus positive emotions. By my count, 1,051 words describe positive emotions, while 2,086 (almost twice as many!) describe negative emotions. Just as one example, he found 264 words to describe the emotion of sadness—words like “despondent,” “sullen,” “heavy-hearted,” “moody,” “woeful,” “grievous,” “tearful,” “melancholy”—yet only 105 to describe cheerfulness, as in “blithe,” “jaunty,” “perky,” “zestful,” and “buoyant.” No wonder people feel bad more than they feel good!
Lower the Intensity of Negative Words
What would your life be like if you could take all the negative emotions you ever felt and lower their intensity so they didn’t impact you as powerfully, so you were always in charge? What would your life be like if you could take the most positive emotions and intensify them, thereby taking your life to a higher level? You can do both of these in a heartbeat.
Take a moment right now, and write down three words that you currently use on a regular basis to make yourself feel lousy (bored, frustrated, disappointed, angry, humiliated, hurt, sad, and so forth). Whatever words you choose, be sure they are ones that you use regularly to disempower yourself. To discover some of the words you need to transform, ask yourself, “What are some negative feelings I have on a consistent basis?”
Now brainstorm some new words that you think you could use to either break your pattern or at least lower your emotional intensity in some way. You can get clues from below as replacing words in your thinking & conversation as
- ‘anxious’ to ‘a little concerned’
- ‘confused’ to ‘curious’
- ‘destroyed’ to ‘set back’
- ‘failure’ to ‘learning’ or ‘getting educated’
- ‘I hate’ to ‘I prefer’
- ‘insulted’ or ‘rejected’ to ‘misunderstood’
- ‘overloaded’ to ‘stretching’
- ‘painful’ to ‘uncomfortable’
- ‘stressed’ to ‘busy’
- ‘foolish’ to ‘unresourceful’
Way Ahead
If you want to come out of negative emotions associated with words, which are impacting your life, then you can adopt following
- Visualize & re-live those moments and simply replace those negative words with positive words. It works for both, the listener as well as the speaker. If you can not simply replace those words completely, then lower the intensity of that negative emotion by using alternative words.
- Generally, people speak negative words, when they are under influence of anger. To avoid this situation, they can train their mind to cool down by simply counting from 20 to 1. If you do this 3 to 4 times, then if such a situation arises next time, your mind will only say to you ‘should I start counting from 20 to 1”. Believe me it happens.
- Use appreciative or encouraging words at the workplace rather than criticism-associated words. Avoid criticism at the workplace to harness the full potential of the talent/capability of individuals.
“A powerful agent is the right word. Whenever we come upon one of those intensely right words … the resulting effect is physical as well as spiritual, and electrically prompt.”—MARK TWAIN
