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If setting clear goals is so crucial for us to achieve a successful and fulfilling future, then why do so many people fail to do it? Why are so many people allowing their life to drag them in all directions? Here are the five major reasons for this.
“When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.” ~ Confucius
1. Limiting Beliefs
The first thing that holds most people back from setting goals is their limiting beliefs. Many people only dream about what they would love to have. When it comes to committing to a specific target and plan, they don’t even bother. Something inside them says ‘there is no way’. Either it’s too difficult or they simply don’t have what it takes.
These are nothing but self-limiting beliefs. Unless we break these past generalizations about ourselves, we will never dare to design goals that drive us to the next level.
“You can’t escape from a prison until you recognize you are in one. People who have chosen to live within the limits of their old beliefs continue to have the same experiences. It takes effort and commitment to break old patterns.” ~ Bob Proctor
2. They Don’t Know What They Want
‘But… I don’t know what I want!’ This is probably one of the most common responses people give. If I handed these individuals a magic lamp and told them they could wish for anything, I guarantee they would start coming up with a long list right away!
It is not that people don’t know what they want. What has truly happened is that most people have stopped daring to dream. As kids, all of us had fantasies and dreams of what we wanted to have and be when we grow up. However, as we went through life, we met with so many failures and disappointments that our rational, critical mind banned us to continue daydreaming anymore.
Whenever we get excited about something, our internal voice will rush in to tell us, ‘It can’t be done’ ‘You cannot do that’ ‘That’s impossible’ ‘Grow up, get real’. (It could even be an echo of our parents’ voice if we had strict, no-nonsense parents). As a result, this would block our creativity and collapse our passion – the very elements we need to create and design the life we truly want.
We need to learn how to unlock our imagination and set our creative minds free.
3. Fear of Failure
This fear of failure, rejection, and embarrassment is what probably paralyzes most people from even starting out. Many students even avoid taking competitive exams because they do not want to be labeled as failures. They think that if they fail, people will laugh at them, so it’s better not to appear in those competitive exams.
Sounds crazy…not only students but many people do the same thing. They believe that it is better not to have expectations, so they cannot let themselves down.
Does this mean that people who keep setting goals do not fear failure? I think everyone hates and fears the feeling of failure. What, then, gives them the courage to set high goals and go for it? It is how we define failure to ourselves.
The only one who can tell us that we failed and make us feel bad is… ourselves. The moment we do not achieve what we want, even on our first attempt, we tell ourselves we have failed, and feel really bad. This pain is what prevents us – and this goes for the majority of people – from daring to go for high stakes to taking risks.
People who constantly set expectations and go for them do so because they define failure differently. They believe that not getting what they set out for is not failure, but only feedback. They don’t feel bad about it at all. And they believe that they only fail if they give up! As long as they keep going for it and do not give up, then they have not failed! This belief drives them to do anything since they alone decide when (i.e. if they ever have to) to call it quits!
You can do the same thing for yourself. Let me ask you this question, ‘What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?’ Would you suddenly go out and do a lot of things you never dared to do? I bet you would.
Then why don’t you go out and do it? After all, there is no way you can fail unless you give up!
4. Addiction to the Soft Life
Most people are unwilling to take risks because they are addicted to a way of life: a peaceful life, an easy life. They do not want to come out of their comfort zone. They won’t do anything that calls for iron will and discipline unless that comfortable lifestyle is imminently under threat.
“Most everything that you want is just outside your comfort zone.” ~ Jack Canfield
Setting goals and really going for our goals often means changing habits, and sacrificing time spent hanging out with friends. This is why people make half-hearted attempts. As soon as their new path impacts their old habits, they withdraw…it’s too hard.
There are no shortcuts to success in any area – business, career, health or personal relationships. So, be prepared to make what appear to be ‘sacrifices’ and, if you do, the rewards are there.
5. Setting Goals Don’t Work
‘I have tried setting goals, but they didn’t work.’ ‘Many people set goals, but they never achieve it, so they give up!’ This is another one of the most common responses people give. Actually ‘It’s not the goal that did not work, you did not work!’ Remember that setting goals in isolation will not get you what you want. However, they are the first and major key to the ultimate success formula. If you don’t follow up with your goals by developing a strategy, taking action, and changing your strategy from feedback, you will not be successful!
When you don’t get what you want, it is merely part of the feedback you get on your journey of getting what you want. When you have no specific goals, you will tend to go towards whatever influences you in the short term. You will be like a sheep following other sheep around you. After some time, you will move all over the place and end up going nowhere.
When you set a clear goal and focus on it, you will make the decisions and take the actions that will move you there. As you take action and follow your plans, you will move towards what you want. But very rarely is the path a straight and easy one. Along the way, soon enough, you will encounter some obstacles, setbacks, and frustrations.
It could be in the form of a rejection, a lost business deal, or even a business failure. At this point, there will always be a group of people (I estimate 30%), who will give up on their dream. These are the ones who will live in fear all of their life and never dare to shoot for anything anymore.
The remaining people (the 70%) will not let one setback stop them. They will quickly recover and retake action. Sure enough, along the way, failure will strike again. At this stage, another group of people will give up, say maybe another 30%.
The remaining 40% will pick themselves up and keep taking action. So along the way to their goals, more and more people will keep giving up as they encounter one setback after another. It is only the remaining 5% that finally reach their goals.
So set goals, have faith, be persistent, and encounter whatever comes on the way, sooner or later you will achieve your goal. But if you do not set goals, then you will flow along with the wind of life. You will reach a destination, which you may like or not. (Excerpt is from “Master Your Mind, Design Your Destiny: Proven Strategies That Empower You to Achieve Anything You Want in Life” by Adam Khoo.)
