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People who don’t believe they deserve success rarely achieve it — or if they do, they’ll subconsciously interfere with their efforts so they can go back to the previous state of things. This is the power of their subconscious mind which proves time and again that their belief is true. There are two main causes of this destructive belief:
1. You don’t want to hurt others
You’re such a loving person that you feel it’s unfair when you reach success and others don’t. This remark is not in a sarcastic sense — some people do limit their growth because they don’t want to outdo their family members or friends.
When you excel in several walks of life and other people around you struggle, it’s understandable you might feel guilty or at least uncomfortable about the divide between you and others. However, these emotions and worries are baseless; by reaching success, you’ll benefit the world more than by deliberately limiting your achievements.
For example, if you built a successful business and your friend is struggling to pay their bills, you’d be able to give them pieces of advice on how to start a small business or even loan them some money to get started. If you lost weight and your friend is struggling to get in shape, you’d be able to help them by becoming their accountability partner. Your parents will probably be proud of you when you outdo them. After all, almost every parent wants their children to have the best life possible.
Convert your feelings of love into inspiration to keep growing, as this will enable you to help others even more. Since you are such a kind person, you are more deserving of success and will benefit society when you achieve your goals.
2. You don’t recognize your strengths
Many of us used to doubt our own worth and abilities. Why would I reach success? What is so special about me that, out of so many people in the world, I am the one who can make his dreams happen? What makes me think that after so many failures, I’d be able to convert them into success?
Society is full of people who question you about your ability when sharing your goals with them. They will say some world critically, which will disrupt your goals. You will start doubting your strength. And once you do that, your subconscious mind will feed all such past experiences in front of you.
Remember, you can’t overcome negative thoughts unless you access a more resourceful state of mind. For this, you can consult a person who can assist you as a mentor. But if you are not able to connect to a mentor, then books like Unlimited Power & Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins or similar other can serve the purpose.
Even if you are not having time to read long books then this blogging website can serve you better. It is having one of the best and life-changing contents on Mindfulness, Money, and Grow Business topics.
Exercise: Mining for Resources
Here are three very effective questions that will help you recognize your strengths and instruct your brain to think in a more constructive way. Be as detailed as possible when answering these questions, as this process can help you greatly to overcome your self-limiting beliefs.
- What are the reasons why it’s so important to you that you’ll achieve your goal?
This primarily comes down to your inner motivation — the reasons why you absolutely must achieve this goal. That’s why it’s so crucial to have goals that fire you up. Otherwise, it’s hard to gather enough confidence to make them happen. If possible, you must come up with reasons that go beyond yourself.
Author Martin Meadows shares, “My most important motivation to succeed in business was to help my parents build a house in the countryside. This one reason alone was sufficient to keep me going and maintain my confidence, no matter how much failure I suffered.”
Spend a lot of time writing down your answers to this question. The more powerful your reasons are, the easier it will be to boost your confidence. If you don’t believe in yourself, you need to at least believe in the importance of the goal you want to achieve.
- What are your unique strengths or resources that will help you reach your goal?
Name your top strengths that you can apply to your goal. Are you stubborn? Do you have a lot of self-discipline? Are you persistent? Are you generally a positive person? Do you have integrity? Are you a great communicator? Do you speak foreign languages? Do you think big? Are you well-organized? Passionate? Patient? Curious? Enthusiastic?
Imagine that you have a job interview for a company called Your Goal, Inc. How would you sell yourself in order to be hired for that position?
Come up with personal skills and traits, as well as other resources that can help you achieve your objective. These can be something like access to a network of people who’ve already achieved their goals related to money, specific knowledge, stable job, successful business, good health, equipment, and other assets.
- When and how did you use your strengths or resources to achieve your previous goals?
You’ve already jotted down your unique strengths and resources. Now it’s time to think of past situations in which you used your strengths or resources. The goal is to realize that you’ve already successfully tapped into your inner resourcefulness in the past, so now you can do it again.
Let’s imagine you want to find a better job. A few years ago, you started jogging, and you continue this routine to this day. If you’re so self-disciplined as to exercise regularly over a long period of time, why wouldn’t you be able to apply your self-discipline to a consistent, determined job search?
If you’re a caring person who’s always there for your family and friends, this means you can extend this nurturing aspect of your personality to yourself. And if you’re always there to help others overcome challenges in their lives, why wouldn’t you be able to use it to reach your goals, too?
It doesn’t have to be anything big. Even if it’s something as ordinary as never being late to work or always making your bed in the morning, it still speaks of your positive traits that can help you reach your goal. A punctual person is essentially a person who sticks to their promises, while a person who always makes their bed in the morning is most likely organized and meticulous.
Why are you strong?
Alternatively, in place of answering these three questions, answer just this one question: “Why are you strong?” People often tend to focus on their weaknesses and reasons why they aren’t worthy of success instead of coming up with reasons why they do deserve it. There’s strength in all of us, but not all of us have discovered it yet.
When you make an extensive list of reasons why you’re strong — and this can include everything from the fact that you’re a loving person, you’re punctual, you have integrity, you value education, or you think big — you’ll bring to light your true, inner confidence. Whenever you feel doubtful, re-read your list until you can quote it from memory.
Don’t expect that this exercise will magically make you a super confident person overnight, though. Its purpose is to get you to stop doubting yourself so much and think in a more constructive way by identifying real-world resources that can help you to achieve your goal. Only then can you successfully begin working on your goal.
Quick Recap
- If you don’t believe you deserve success, you’ll sabotage your efforts. If you limit your growth because you’re afraid of hurting others, remind yourself that becoming a better person gives you more resources to help them.
- If you don’t recognize your strengths, make a list of your motivations, strengths, relationships, and other assets that can help you achieve your goal. Then think of past situations that you solved, thanks to these resources. (Article is inspired by “From Failure to Success” by Martin Meadows).
